July 5th, 2005

(no subject)

a thought just occurred to me, and i'm trying my best to get it down before it completely leaves my mind; people are obsessed with the concept of finding something meaningful in their lives. something that has a depth to it that goes beyond the five senses. i was just reading 'neverwhere,' easily my least favorite of gaiman's books that i've read thus far, and thinking to myself, "no, this book isn't as fantastic as the rest, and yes, there are some things about it that i don't like." but then i thought to myself, "that's okay," thought i. "i need this book to prove to me that as much as i enjoy gaiman's work, and am very much in awe of his creativity, he's still just a man, like me. he's simply a man, with the same needs and wants as any other man, only he's managed to find a unique talent in himself that other people admire and enjoy." and if you think about that for a second, you'll find there's a real message about life hidden in my ramblings. i was happy that i had found a deeper meaning in the sheer realization that i didn't like one thing as much as some other things.
but i was then mentally berated by the other people that live in my head, the outside people, the friends and family and spectators to my thoughts. "you're thinking too hard about this," they said. "it's not that big a deal. not everything has to have a deeper meaning to it. this isn't some revelation you've made, it's just a fleeting thought as you read a book. it's not that important."
and perhaps they're right. the afore-mentioned thought really isn't all that important. amusing, and interesting, but not particularly important. what was important though, was my response;
"people never like to admit that things have meaning anymore. people (that i've seen) are so skeptical, and critical of everything they think, and everything that they see and hear, that they're not willing to lend something meaning for fear that it might only have meaning to them, and then the rest of the world would chuckle at them and say 'you're living in a dream. things don't need to have that kind of deeper meaning. take things as they are.' and the rest of the world would shake its head patronizingly, and the person with the vast personal realization would feel dumb, and overly analytical."
"but what *can* we lend meaning to?" i thought to myself. "sure, there's such a thing as over-analyzing matters, but if we don't over-analyze anything, and just take it all at face-value, then nothing MEANS anything!" so to the spectators of my thoughts, i leave this final, simply query: "if not this, then what?"
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